It's kind of funny yesterday when I was in bed, before sleeping, I told myself "I don't complete understand humans and human reaction, but it's just fun to watch". I thought it would be the sentence to express myself for a few coming years. Or probably, I was just tired by playing tennis after more than a month, because the weather was cold and because I had to take home a more than 5 kg box of stuff that my mom sent me for my birthday.
Indeed, I was tired that I thought I had to take a day off from work yesterday but after opening the box my mom sent me, I recovered. I always like things my mom bought for me, but not all. Especially when she has the habit of buying lot of stuff and sending lots. But she sent me a little shoe, that she knitted herself. In a big box of more than 5kg of stuff, there is a little shoe which weighs 5 or 7g something.
I took a photo to send my cousin. The photo of me and him when I was participating in a contest for kids in the city. My face was high up, to avoid saying I look a bit cocky. I think I still am. My cousin looks handsome and cute for a kid at 5 years old, smiling to the pic, bracing my shoulder. He told me when I sent him the photo that he still remember his shoes, they look like Adidas shoes or anything like that. They just look good, things that made a kid at 5 years old remember. I looked up another photo of mine, a photo when I was 6, to compare with 26. To be honest, I think I looked as mature as I am now. I was sitting on a scooter, a 50cc that my dad at the time used to ride me to school. And I always remember whatever we used, my dad always keep them clean and working. Then I saw the bag that I used from year 1 to year 5, all the primary school years. I'm good at keeping things (unless I don't lose them) but I think the reason the bag stayed for 5 years was because it was a good bag. I remember it's not made in Vietnam, something from Russia, Japan or at least not some cheap Chinese stuff (sorry, in Vietnam a lot of people think Chinese goods are with low quality since they mostly export cheap stuff to our country). I remember how many layers there were in the bag, and that my mom helped me to divide the bags into two sides to put notebooks in, since the notebooks in Vietnam are small at that time.
My cousin and me, we were the generation of middle 80s. We were born not lucky like the kids born in 90s when the country started the 'open' policy. But anyhow, we were very lucky, enough to be taken care very well by our parents, even though it was not easy for them. I indeed miss my mother very much, when I am aware how much she has been taking care for me, my brother, the whole family.
I'm grateful that she's a Buddhist now, by letting everything go. I can think of what I want to do, that I want to travel, that I want to take photo, writing about people after all the years being abroad and two years of doing MBA. I am good now, even though there has been changes in my company, and that people are worried. I am lucky to be able to accept everything that can happen now. I am free, I have no attachment, except for the attachment that I think I live for, having some sort of responsibilities, sort of the urge to do something good for my mom and my family (the big one with cousins, aunts, uncles,...).
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